The Bride and Her Maid
by BeautifulDoom
Summary: The classic tale of Thor's hammer being stolen by Thrym the Frost Giant


Loki was enjoying his afternoon tea in the garden. The sun was warm on his back and the butterflies were creating a myriad of color around him. He sighed, at peace, and went to sip from his cup.

A roar of rage shook the very ground, knocking the cup from Loki's hand and into his lap. Loki leapt up with a curse and magicked the mess away. He narrowed his eyes in annoyance as he recognized the roar as belonging to Thor.

"By the Norns, what's wrong with him?" Loki muttered, making his way into the palace. He walked into the throne room to see an enraged Thor conversing with Odin.

"The Frost Giant Thrym has stolen Mjolnir!" Thor shouted. "We must get it back!"

Loki rolled his eyes and shook his head softly. He knew letting Thor get staggering drunk last night had been a bad idea. He wisely kept his mouth shut as Odin spoke.

"Thrym has demanded Freya's hand in marriage in exchange for the hammer. Obviously, we will not agree, but perhaps we can find a way around this. Freya," Odin looked over at the goddess in question, "would you agree to wear the proper bridal attire to allow us to get close enough to steal Mjolnir back?" Loki's eyes widened briefly. He knew Freya enough to know her answer to that question.

"How dare you?!" Freya shrieked. "False or not, I would never dress as a bride for a Frost Giant. How would the people see me if I agreed? They would see me as nothing more than a common whore that can be bought for a price. Their whispers will plague me until Ragnarok! The humiliation I shall suffer! And all because Thor was irresponsible enough to lose his hammer! Never, Odin Allfather. I refuse." She drew herself up haughtily and stomped out of the throne room.

"That actually went rather well," said Loki. Thor looked back at him with a grimace.

"Stay your insults, Brother," he said. Odin shook his head wearily. He and Thor continued to talk as the gears in Loki's head began to turn. Always one for solving puzzles, Loki paced around the hall as he thought about what to do. He grabbed a swatch of lace, probably left behind by a servant, and fidgeted with it as he continued to puzzle over the situation. Thor was the only one who could wield Mjolnir and defeat the Frost Giants in case a quick escape was needed (and without Freya, they definitely would need one). He needed to be there somehow, but Thrym wasn't stupid. He would know something was up if he saw any trace of Thor. They couldn't very well dress up any other maiden as Freya, Thrym would know, and any illusions Loki could produce would dissolve without him nearby, and again Thrym would know something was afoul if he saw Loki. So Thor had to be there, and maybe Loki too as a precaution, without Thrym knowing any better.

Loki tossed the swatch aside in his frustration. He looked over when he heard Thor cry out, and saw Thor pull the swatch over his head where it had landed.

That's when the solution came to Loki. He quickly formed a plan even as Odin wearily decided to call Freya back again.

"Father," said Loki, "I believe that I have a plan…" He sounded hesitant, and Odin heard it.

"What is this plan, my son?" Odin asked. Loki walked over to stand next to Thor. He fidgeted with his hands and looked at the floor.

"Thor will not like this plan, but I swear that I can think of no other way," he said.

"What is it, Brother?" Thor asked, leery already.

"We need a way to get Thor to Thrym and trick him into revealing Mjolnir. Then Thor can slay the giants, but someone else should be there to make sure nothing happens." Odin nodded.

"And how do you propose to do this," Odin prompted. Loki took a deep breath and steeled himself.

"I propose that we dress Thor up as Freya in a wedding dress and send him to Thrym," Loki belted out. He quickly leapt away as Thor swung at him.

"You would DARE suggest such a thing! How dare you insult me, Brother! How dare you suggest I do such a thing?"

"I would be there with you as your maid!" Loki cried in his defense. "I would be there with you for the entire journey until Mjolnir was back in your hands!" Thor growled and raised his and again-

"Thor!" said Odin. "Stay your hand! Loki, I think this plan will work." Thor looked at his father incredulously as Loki sighed in relief.

"Father, you cannot possibly believe-" Thor began.

"Do you have a better plan?" Odin interrupted. Thor fell silent. "I thought so. I shall send word to Thrym that Freya has agreed, but she will need a few days to prepare. Loki, in that time you shall create dresses for the two of you. I will see the two of you off on your journey in two days hence. You are both dismissed." Thor glared at an apologetic Loki.

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"Brother, I cannot believe you came up with such a stupid plan," Thor groused as Loki took his measurements.

"Will you stop crying like a child?" Loki said irritably. "Besides, I shall be wearing a dress too."

"Why can't you just cast an illusion on us?"

"Because I don't want to risk it. If Thrym sees through the illusion, then you may never see Mjolnir again. Is that what you want? A dress should be the least of your worries right now, and I will be sharing the humiliation with you anyway, so why complain?" Loki marked down another number.

"Yes," sneered Thor, "but everyone calls you a woman anyway so it will not matter for you to dress like one." Loki just rolled his eyes and drew the tape measure tighter.

"Yes," he said, "I AM a lady. A very pretty lady, if the words of some of the warriors are anything to go by. That is a moot point, however, as I shall be in my male form when I go with you." Thor opened his mouth to say something, but a glare from Loki shut him up.

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The material slid through Loki's fingers like a white waterfall. The golden thread crisscrossed this way and that and flew across the dress in intricate patterns. This was the wedding dress of a goddess, after all, and Loki never half-assed a job. He straightened the dress out over the mannequin and gave it a critical eye. He chewed on the pins stuck between his teeth and rubbed the jewels in his hand. It was a good start, but more needed to be done, and he hadn't even started on his own dress yet.

It wasn't exactly a secret that Loki could tailor and create fine clothes for both men and women. It was a talent that Loki had discovered in helping his mother fix a tear in her dress, and then it had simply grown over time. Of course, it had done nothing but add to his list of 'womanly talents' and made him the subject of yet more ridicule, but Loki's ego had been healed when women had come to him and asking for clothing masterpieces and trusting no one else but him. He had become very popular when he began incorporating spells to make fabrics glow or designs move across the dresses. Loki chuckled to himself and began sewing the jewels onto the fabric.

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Thor was on his way to Loki's room. Loki had managed to finish the dress and now Thor had to try it on to make sure it fit. He was very happy that Odin had told no one of the plan and had said that Freya was going to help trick Thrym (he had told the real Freya that this was a lie). Thor knocked on Loki's door and entered.

He gasped at the sight that met him.

Oh, this was truly a dress fit for a goddess. Gold threads and jewels stood out on the white fabric in designs no weaver could hope to mimic. A bridal veil was on the table nearby and it looked just as lovely as the dress.

"Well?" Thor jumped as Loki appeared beside him. "How does it look?"

"It looks beautiful brother," Thor said.

"Good," Loki beamed. "Now strip down and try it on."


End file.
